shadi 3 crore ki

I have noticed that celebrations, be it birthdays or anniversaries or marriages, seem to be getting bigger and bigger and of course costlier and costlier. (And simultaneously, relationships are becoming more and more fragile and tenuous. People are willing to pay any price to be exclusive / unique / first-to-do-this or that; but unwilling to invest time and effort in relationships).

Nobody wants to be left behind in this race and few have the courage to stand out. (Somewhat strange - considering that you can only be a loser at the end of it – of resources if you are lucky, and much more if you are not).

So, even my maid whose monthly income from all sources would be about Rs. 5000.00 per month hosts a birthday party which boasts of balloons, festoons, fairy lights, chocolate cake, soft drinks, a magician and return gifts. She borrows and borrows without a qualm and when I try to reason with her to avoid these unnecessary expenses she actually misunderstands my motives (jealousy she implies! You people don’t want us to progress!!!).

While I am smarting, I suddenly remember all the applications for loans and withdrawals from Provident Fund accounts for weddings, that I recommended and forwarded for sanction as head of a branch and wonder why I am dissuading her – she’s borrowing to spend for a birthday, many of us borrow to spend on our daughter’s weddings. What’s the difference really? We are both spending beyond our means. And why do we do that? To live up to or surpass the aspirations and expectations set by some X or Y or by what is glamourised in movies and TV serials? What is it in human nature, which makes us ape extravagance and not emulate simplicity?

It must be this aspect of human weakness that has prompted the reality show “Shadi 3 crore ki”. As I pondered my first idle thought was - why only 3 and not 5 or 10? And what will they show I wondered. Not much ingenuity would be required with a budget like that unless one had the choice of arranging the wedding in the minimum amount and pocket the rest!

Second thought – in our country where traditionally the wedding expenditure is largely borne by the girl’s parents, what kind of impact will it have? After all, parents of daughters in this day and age too, lament the fact that they are unable to find a befitting match unless they are willing and able to shell out dowry. Or they have to compromise on the qualities / qualifications / social status. Many, instead of being proud rue the fact that their daughter is very highly qualified or earning well because an equally qualified boy comes with a prohibitive price tag. In fact, daughters are being eliminated in the womb because they are seen as a burden (the chief one being expenditure on marriage).

Censors object to heroes /heroines smoking on screen because they feel it will incite/inspire young people to emulate them – in similar vein I fear “shadi 3 crore ki” will fuel unrealistic aspirations and increase the burden on girls and their parents.